Friday, June 21, 2013

Leaving behind the old traditions

   Every year for the Forth of July holiday my uncle has a huge get together at his house in Michigan. He has a nice in ground pool with a beautiful backyard in the country. When I was younger all my cousins and I would go swimming for hours and spend the entire day in the sun. The tradition is passed on with the next generation of kids swimming and yelling,"CANON BALL!" and girls vs boys contests. Each year the size of the party increases with more and more people joining the family, more babies than the last, and more friends of friends being invited. Everyone brings a dish to pass, and a type of meat for the grill. It is a wonderful time for the family to relax and enjoy each others company in the summer heat.
    It wasn't until after I embraced Islam did I try to pull back. I immediately stopped swimming, and just hung around the adults and watched from the sideline. I did however start to become aware of the fact that I was the only one who cared about my situation. My family was very supportive of my decision to be a Muslim but at the same time they are not going to rearrange their whole lives for my needs. For example, when I got married I was gifted a brand new set of pots and pans-nothing haram has ever touched those pans. But I can't say the same for the grill used at the barbecue. It has seen a lot of pork on it, along with hamburgers, steak, chicken, ribs, and hot dogs. That's what you do at a get together right? I had to basically only eat from dishes that I knew were vegetarian or sweets. Aside from the food situation there was the alcohol. Nobody would get wasted but it did seem like everyone over 21 had a beer in their hand. I wasn't drinking so I didn't think it was a big deal. I started to think about when I have kids (Inshallah). Do I want them exposed to that? Do I want them to think it's ok for men and women to lounge around half naked with a beer in their hand? Even though everyone is related and were all family it's not appropriate for my 30-year-old brother to see his 16-year-old cousin in practically her underwear. That is not the message I want my kids to take in. That is the hardest part about becoming a better Muslim. I had to leave the old traditions and memories behind in order to focus on the new beliefs and ways of how I want to live my life. Nobody said transitioning would be easy. My husband didn't want me involved in family functions like that. At first I was upset and didn't want to hear his reasons. But as I grew into my role of a Muslim I understood better. A way for me to still stay in contact with my family and not totally leave them behind is Skype or FaceTime. I get to see them at these functions but without the actual indulging in the activities. I also try to go and visit them while there isn't anything really going on.
     I hope that whether or not you have your families support, you always respect them. Pray for them and try to help them have a better understanding of Islam and the path that you're on. It is such a beautiful path that everyone should see.

   To make good contact with your blood relations and to be good to them is great in the Eyes of Allah the Highest

2 comments:

  1. http://dedicatedsanaa.blogspot.co.uk/
    Salam alaykum sister, do you have a new blog or are you having a very long break from teh blogging world? Either way hope you are okay.

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  2. btw the way I am Sanaa. You used to follow my old blog 'One droplet in an Ocean'.

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